Thursday, July 29, 2010

Dream...



I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me.
I played pretend between the trees, and fed my houseguests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest swing.
I had a dream.

Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I'm supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest tree.
I had a dream.

Now I'm old and feeling grey. I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave.
I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.

I had a dream....

*Priscilla Ahn*

Sometimes...


I closed my eyes and wished you were here,
I whispered a prayer and fell asleep,
But my mind still stubbornly wanders,
Wandering with the thoughts of you...

And I can't seem to get you out of my head,
Even when I'm trapped within my darkest dungeons,
There you are standing, staring,
Like a beacon, shining onto me...

But it's all in my head,
And I cannot make it real,
What a wicked cruel world this is,
For I am caged by the torments of my heart...

xoxo

Monday, July 26, 2010

When a (my) crazy world seems perfect...


**** Pretty baby, why can't you see, you're the one that I belong to...****

'Lately, the thoughts of you have increased...my heart beats a gazillion crazy times and I constantly find myself needing to catch my breath...'

Sometimes I question my sanity. Holding on to some things that seems so distant from the grasp of reality. But I keep telling myself that in the end, everything will somehow workout...a fool's hope I say...but a fool's hope seems like the perfect reason to dream :) - call me crazy XD

But I can't help the way I feel (hmm...very de ja vu la this statement :p) sigh x 1000000........I'm sitting, waiting patiently and hoping beyond hope that one day it will all come true...it will be worth it, the wait...

*It feels so right, it can't be wrong*

Monday, July 19, 2010

Around and around...


wish i could take a ride around the world on a hot air balloon...

lately been having these feelings to escape...

so...i'm taking each day one step at a time...trying not to look so much in to some things, just living the seconds of the day as it comes...

it's harder than i thought it would be...who knew...

i'm shifting my thoughts to material things...yes yes i know, i'm being shallow...but it makes a good distraction...it truly does :)

at the moment, i am thinking of my SLR camera...aiming for a Nikon D60. Not the latest in the market, but i think for a beginner starting out, it's more than adequate...after that, if i find that i really really really love photography (which i can say i really really really do! :p) then i will upgrade to a much newer SLR model. Might even spread the market and get a Canon one pulak kekekeke.. XD

xoxo

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Messed Up...


I'm stuck...
in a beautiful mess...
where there seems to be no way out...
just an endless bitter sweet cycle...

well, here I am...
delirious and crazed with thoughts of you...
knifed by your impartial words...
words i wish you'd make mine...

And I miss you though....so so much....

“(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯) ”

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Counting down the time...and lunar rings...


**I wish I was out in space counting the luminescence lunar rings of distant satellites**

Well, whadya know....we have hit the mid of the year. Okay, so it's slightly after the mid of the year. But who's counting anyways :p

Time flies when you're having fun they say. But I can't really say that I am though hahas. I have come to conclude that time flies.Period. It doesn't matter if you're having fun or miserably falling into pieces - time just moves pass us nonetheless...

I'm trying to think of what I have achieved these 6 months into 2010. It's a little discerning to find that nothing seems to jump into my mind - damn...seriously, I can't think of a single proud-of-myself achievement. Sad isn't it? God, I can't believe I'm saying all these...

I guess keeping my job is a good thing hehehe...I made new friends - good friends at that :) Got to know my existing friends better...laughed, cried, acted crazy (which is normal me), acted sane, climbed up and fell down and lost my heart....sigh...

Actually, looking back, I might not have done anything huge that would have made people go 'WHOA!' but...it's the little things. If I looked hard enough, I can see that I did pretty okay for the likes of me...I could do more, and thus, that is what I will work on but I know I shouldn't look down on me at the moment :)

Some people measure their lives with the number of things done and achieved. Yeah, that seems all impressive but hey, it's how you feel inside that counts at the end of the day. When you're standing at the white pearly gates and you could look the Almighty in the eye and honestly say you have no regrets, then my friend, I believe you have very much lived a proud life :)

"When it's all said and done, what truly matters is what's inside your heart...the rest of the world just exists..."

*****
She lost a lover
who was both forbidden and estranged
She charts the planets
To see if things will ever change

She's counting lunar rings
Though she's never been one for astronomy
She's shivering in the northern wind
She's Begging, beggin to begin

*****

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Rain, rain...come again....

Outside the rain is pouring - relentlessly...again, here I am, stuck in the office surrounded by people when I could be drenched in the storm...

lightning strikes as the thunder roars and I feel so out of place caged in this concrete prison...it has been long since the last when I heard such turmoil in a storm. It brings over a sense of de ja vu...like one of my distant dreams...

sitting staring at the blinking screen in front of me, I can't help to wonder if this is really where I'm suppossed to be...I feel so much more at home and secure standing in the middle of a thunder storm, it makes me think just a little...

i stood looking out into the storm a little while...the skies were grey and the wind blowing across makes it hard to see much that is ahead...but i love what i see anyways :)

i made a wish into the raging storm - somehow i felt a sense of calmness enveloping me...i closed my eyes, took a deep breath and wished as hard as I can...I don't know if it will come true though I hoped that it would...ha, wishfull thinking of a fool - that's me ;)

Monday, July 5, 2010

Random Thoughts...

A : Can we just drive around? Just me and you?
B : Of course...
A : Good...I feel like disappearing and getting lost but I don't want to be alone...
B : You're never alone...
A : Haha, are you gonna be with me forever then?
B : If you will have me...

“(¯`'•.¸♥ xoxo ♥¸.•'´¯)”

Sunday, July 4, 2010

When You Can't Sleep...Write...

I'm waiting for you to see you the way I do...
I'm waiting for you to see me the way I want you to...
How did I end up like this?
Tell me how did I lose everything and still find reasons to smile?...

~It's you~