Saturday, August 29, 2009

Humans & Emotions...

You ask yourself, 'Why did I put myself through that?', 'Am I that stupid?'...but you should know, somethings happen out of our own way. We don't have control in everything, especially with our hearts and feelings. Should you still blame yourself or the situation or the other person? It doesn't matter who is at fault or what had happened, what matters is how you live with the time that you have after...because the truth is that thing that you keep thinking about and keep reliving in your head had passed. Gone. It exists only in your memories. And I understand that memories are hard to shake off. Especially if the bad and the good comes hand in hand. Do you really want to wish for it to never have happened? Would it make your life better?Probably. But I say, 'Live and let Live'. Don't stop. Let's put the past in its place. The past. We have only a precious amount of time left for us in this universe. We don't want to waste it on drowning in regrets.We soldier on.We try our hardest and best to move forward. Away from the pain and hurt from whence it came. We take the good and cherish them.The bad we take with a pinch of salt and honor them as hard-learned lessons that we make sure we try not to repeat. These are the stuff that makes us who we are today. But remember, even if you find ourselves stumbling intoa similar story in the future, don't fret.Don't beat yourself up. We are but humans. We are not perfect. Which is what makes us beautiful. If we fall again, we dust ourselves and get up. We never give up on life, and that would be the single most amazing thing each of us could strive to achive and keep up :)

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Beautiful mess...

I dreamt of you again last was the held my hand and I smiled and I blushed...if you weren't holding on to me, I would have floated away...the sun was just setting and the glow of the dying day sparkled your eyes...we didn't talk much...just walked, hand in hand...what a beautiful mess this is...

Friday, August 21, 2009

The Princess of Darkness...

I shun the light,
Of which that bathes all soul,
I carry within me,
A darkness that's beyond comprehension,
Even for the likes of me...

I ride in the deepest nights,
Seeking for the unwilling solitude,
That burdens the hearts of many,
Like a black candle,
Burning to give out despair...

Emersed in the sighs of the twilight,
I rejoice in evanessence,
As slowly the dark velvet skies,
Crumbled,showering shards of emptiness,
On to the lands of the people...

Plights and cries pass me by,
I hear and feel no pain no remorse,
Even in the distance of the deadening night,
When heavanly hands reaches to give absolution,
I...shun the light...

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I am NOT a workaholic...

Is it a universal presumption that if a person spends quite a lot of time in the office that this person is a 'workaholic'??

I am not a workaholic!...please bear that in mind before judging me...yes i admit that i do spend most of the hours in a day at work, but seriously people, does that automatically make me a workaholic??

Bottom line...I am not...I have my reasons for spending time in the office...but a workaholic ain't one of 'em...

PS : Despite the tone the above entry potrays, I am actually a lover of peace :P

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Home for the weekend...

Over the weekend I went back home to JB to my parents place.I don't usually look forward to it.I don't know what that says about me though.Anyways,I always feel different when I arrive.I see my mum and dad.They were waiting up for us(my brother tagged along)even though it was pass 1 am when we arrived.The drive was a little draggy.But the songs played on the radio was good company.I singed along.I love driving in the night...

The next morning I was up around 10am.Had my breakfast-hokkien wantan mee.Never knew I would miss the taste though.I used to be so sick of wantan mee.It shows what powers time possess.Anyways,a little while after breakfast my dad asked me to help him out in his little garden out front.Ever since his bypass operation he had been finding little ways of busying himself and found that he really liked gardening.Well it was mostly veggies that he had cultivated in a small patch of soil in our front yard.It was impressive.But then again,my dad was always one that never seem to say never.

It was raining,drizzling as we were picking out these little weed looking greens he had planted.They were called 'Ponani' in tamil.I nearly burst out laughing when he told me what they were called.I had just only watched a comedy hour skit by Russel Peters the day before and there was a part where he was telling some story on what the Jamaicans called a woman's 'ehem ehem'(you know what I mean :P).Well they called them 'Punani'.So you can see why I had to control myself.I can only imagine me trying to explain my laughing to my dad...

The weekend went by pretty quickly.It was raining most of the time in JB.Which was good considering how hot and humid it still felt.I got wet in the rain a few times.Not intentionally though I would have loved to have done that.My dad was out golfing half the days and whenever he was home he never stopped talking-on my future,
my sister's future,my brother's future and the future in general Whoa...I never knew that my dad could talk so much.It was an earful but I always understood that he meant well.Still doesn't change the fact that at times it was really annoying hehe :P In his eyes I would always be a little girl in need of looking out...

When it was time to leave,my heart felt heavy as it always does.My doggie Ponnie had that 'you're-leaving-me-again' expression on her cute face.I hugged her good and hard one last time as I packed my stuff in my car.Then I hugged my mum and dad oodbye.I can't really look them in the eye.Tears would roll.

It's funny how your emotions plays you.You think you know yourself pretty well, when the next instance can prove you otherwise.I know I still have loads to learn about myself.It's a journey.Just like the one I'm taking back to KL...

Fireflies...Owl City

This song reminds me of me during nights where I can't fall asleep so I stayed up looking out the window and dreaming of everything :D

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Just another Thursday...

Okay so it's not the best of days today. The weather outside is
a little dreary.Or maybe that's just how it looks through my eyes..
I wish I could have stayed at home today. Stay under my covers.
Don't wanna care about the world...
But wishes doesn't always come true...

Work is draggy. I'm yawning half the time. It's just after the
close and the mood in the office is just the same as how i feel
the weather is outside.*sigh*.One thing to look forward to though,
G.I. Joe later on. I got mixed feelings about it. Reviews say that
it's just an okay movie. People I know who have watched the movie
says it really good.I'm no too enthused.At least it's some thing
else (other than work) to look forward to...

I'm thinking of getting guitar lessons.It's something that I had
planned to do for a very long time. Just never got around to
doing it.There were always excuses-no time,no money,no tutor,no
guitar,blah,blah,blah...but this time, I said to myself, if I
want something, I should just go and do it.No questions,no
doubts...I'll let you know how it goes...I'm hoping by the start
of the following week I would be strummin'.*fingers crossed*

Monday, August 10, 2009


I made a choice,
Was it the right one I wonder?
But it's too late now to ponder,
Time moved on, it never lingers...

I hope I would not regret,
Though deep in me feels a sort of pain,
Will I ever learn from my mistakes?
Maybe I'd live with the heartaches...

One day it might come back to haunt me,
I'm, sure I can't run away,
I won't lay a finger of blame,
I will lay in its burning flame...

Friday, August 7, 2009

It was good...

I recently found that a blog which I had always enjoyed reading and looking forward to every morning has been moved...she mentioned she needed more privacy with her personal life and I respect that...but I will not lie that I am sad that I do not have her writings to read was good...real good...her writings and her life inspired me....I always looked up to her-back in high school, as well as now, even if it's just through her words...

'I will miss your written words, your anecdotes, your poems and scribbles on life...the way you make complications into simplicity and the way that sometimes it feels like you are reaching in and reading my was a pleasure was good :) I hope our paths will meet one day again and that I would have the privilage of thanking you for the inspiration and joy you had brought me with your words...I wish I could continue with your journey but life doesn't wind in the ways that you pave all the time...It's like what you said,

"Change-We can't keep it from happening, but we can trust change never means to harm us. It's a sign that we are growing up..."

'C'est La Vie'