One more thing....

It's HALLOWEEN tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hehe.Just thought I'd give a shoutout on it =)

PS : Boo! Scared or not? :P

Erm...just some thoughts...

There was a time when I kept falling off the treacherous cliffs...and it would take me days to hit the seemingly bottomless ground. And in the course of falling, I slept and I dreamt of things past, present and future. Never had I felt such bliss in the midst of such travesty...

*Warning* Don't come too close...

Lost...

Can't decide if i should go left or right? or maybe i should belooking at if i should be going up or down...hmmm...feeling lost,confused, dazed and utterly helpless...it's times like this i wish i could escape into one of my books..atleast in there, i would know the outcome...but the thing is, i love not knowing sometimes (skye,skye...can't be decisive at all haish...)...it'strue though...I really like the mystery that the future holds...where's the adventure when you already know where the treasure is at? or who is the killer? or if the boy gets the girl or if the girl gets the boy (or if the boy gets the boy or girl gets the girl...whichever applies ;D )...

i do confuse my ownself quite a lot...then I will wallow in my own self pity.haha.soo the drama right? :P dont care...bluek!...

Shhh...

I wont tell your secrets,

Your secrets are safe with me...

♥

To be free...

I am inside, looking out...
A prisoner of my thoughts,
There out there, where light roams free,
Lies the treacherous insanity of my dreams...

But I, still a wretched, beaten doll,
Controlled only by the echos of my past,
Bound and strung with shadows of yore,
Trying to reach out towards the white shore...

In the end of all time,
What keeps me inside of my own dread,
Is the solace lonely thoughts of never having,
Never feeling, never knowing, never loving...

I wish to be free...

Nine Million Bicycles

There are nine million bicycles in Beijing. That's a fact, it's a thing we can't deny, like the fact that I will love you till I die...

Not as Different...

Here in this small room, we see the true nature of our leaders...not that different as anyone of us..maybe a little seasoned and a little used...but the same nonetheless...humans with as much nerves as the rest of us little lambs sitting in the sidelines...what makes them different and above the rest of us? simple but profound - their hearts. Their hearts that accepts the challenges laid in front of them...even in the face of adversity and even with doubt, they march on...seemingly fearless but utterly lost at the same time...the human mind never fails to impress me...

This is me ;)

I always find it funny when people stare and gimme that 'oh-my-god-how-old-are-you' kinduh look whenever I do something silly(and trust me I do that quite often =D ) haha..

it's second nature to me...I don't find it weird at all...just the other day I was walking through my apartment to get to the shops...and just like sometimes, I would kinduh skip a little and be singin' a song that's stuck in my head for the day (i thinkit was Owl City's 'On the Wing') and lo and behold I saw a couple of teens givin' me the 'look' :P

well, me didn't give a crap la ofcourse...haha...kept on goin the way i was coz it was fun...maybe people find it hard to enjoy the company of their ownselves...it's a little sad though but it's understandable...most of us don't wanna look silly or stupid in the pressence of others...but these 'others' are strangers that you are never gonna meet.and even if we do meet them in some near or distant future, what's the problem then?

I'd rather have the pleasure of enjoying every single moment of this fleeting life that we hold... even if it's when I'm prancing around like a monkey (believe me, I think I have literally doneexactly that b4 :P) or if it's just something as mundane as having lunch alone in a corner shop where others just pass you by...

this is me :)

I wish I could fly...

Why does it have to be one or the other? Can't I have wings and roots at the same time? Why must there always be a choice to be made? I wish that I could jump up and fly. But I know once I do that I might not come home again....but I really, really do want to fly...even if it's away from here and even if I just might lose my past...

Do I?

Tis' was the Festival of Lights...

so i went down to Muar for the Deepavali celebrations...the whole jim-bang was there...usual congregation spot...my aunt's place..this is the only constant place that i have in my life...my family moved around a lot...my heart nvr had a chance to settle down anywhere (hmm, maybe that's wny i'm finding it hard to let my heart go)...

like i was saying, the whole jim-bang was there..uncles,aunts,cousins...different yet familiar...the same scene again...years pass but this never changes..i don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing...hmmm =/

my memories are made up of what i remember smelling...haha...incense...yes, that was the first...the incense burning from the altar..i liked it a lot...then came the food...yumms!...i can pretty much sum up my entire deepavali as beeing a food frenzy..lol v^^

ooo yes, how can i forget!!...the HEAT!!!...sooo effin HOT & HUMID!!!taking a shower was of no use.the moment i stepped out of the shower 'WHOOOSH' a wall of humidity just hits me square in the face!!..sweat was my constant companion (no kiddin')

the first night.5.00am (dont ask me how i kno this)...it began to pour down...cats and dogs cant even begin to describe the verocity of the rain!..it was welcomed.atleast for an hour or so, it wasnt that hot & humid...but something kinduh freaky happened, when i realised it was pouring outside, i was relieved at first, but i suddenly had this weird thot (don't ask me why) - what if the rain flooded into the room??..and just on cue, the ceiling above me started to drip *drip*drop*, slow at first then it was like it was drizzling inside :P me and my big mind haha..

i wished we had some sort of resemblence of the above for our fireworks session...sigh...due to legal reasons (and us being such law abiding citizents haha :P) we only stuck to what we call 'Pop-pops'...fun!(note the sarcastic undertone? :P)

i think i've told already about the food...oh god!!..where do i begin?..we had all sorts of stuff-chicken, turkey, mutton, fish,shrimp...all day and all night long, a fenzy of eating!...i'm scared to find out how much i must have had gained over the holidays *yikes!*...must start ber-dieting edi :P

oh yeah.random.i rediscovered my love for oranges on the last night in Muar.haha. =D

well...all in all...hmm...how do i sum up my deepavali? it was like the deepavalis before i guess...nothin more nothin less...fun was had, food was eaten, families met...Happy Deepavali!! =D

PS : Mee siput is the best snack to be had in Muar!!!!!

Hearts...

I missed you already...even when I do not know you still...I sat down by my window sill...and I cut out little hearts out from the prettiest pieces of paper...I lay them randomly across a blank sheet of paper...just the way I feel your love spread within me...you color my life with your heart...I do not want it any other way...

Can I?...Will you?...

Can I fall in love without even meeting you?

Can I get lost in your thoughts?

Can I feel happiness and bliss without pressence?

Can I smile without a cause?

Can I feel warmth without touch?

Can I cry without pain?

Can I know you through my dreams?

Will you know me when we meet?

Will our eyes dance in secret harmony?

Will your heart beat against mine?

Will you hold me and swear to be mine?...

Sigh...

I'm in deep contemplation today...though I always am ruminating about one thing or another...my mind is a shamble in which even i get lost in sometimes...

actually, i'm feeling a little low today...not the best feeling ever...feels like there is nothing much that anyone can say or do to change how I feel-low and down in the dumps...maybe it's just me being very emotional and dramatic (i have the tendency of going aboard with theatrics)...somehow feeling that whatever bad things that are happening were meant to be (some sort of karma) and that I deserve every single one of it...*sigh*...

but then my mind did a 180 degrees (or was it 360 degrees?hmm...)flip...i started asking myself...why do I need to care of what others think of me? or what the rest of the world perceived of me and my weird antics? i am who i am...

just because one person thinks you're not worth it, it doesn't mean that that defines the person that you are...

you're always a somebody...there's definately someone out there who would think the world of you even when you think you don't deserve it at all...

i hope that i will meet that somebody somewhere in my future...in my journeys to self discovery, i hope that someone discovers me and that wait would be worth the while :)

Can't Hardly Wait...

There she is...my guitar...looking good :)

I had my first lesson the other day...I knew my fingers would hurt, but didn't think it would hurt this much...been in such a gung-ho mood practicing on my guitar day in and out...look out world! here comes the next Taylor Swift hehe!! :P

been checking my fingers constantly looking out for callous' (yeah, i know, I'm weird) ...it would be an indication of how good I'm getting (yes, it's all in my head :P)

but there you go...I made a promise to myself to take up guitar and look at what I'm doin' v^^

can't hardly wait for the day when I will be strummin' along to a song that I wrote myself and singin' my heart out (maybe performing at the VMA's? ) *roll eyes*

well, whenever that may be...I will be heading there...so for the moment, I'm just gonna work hard and do my best...it's hard work, but it's gonna be sooo worth it!

PS : And you know, I can't breath without you but I have to...

A dream...

There was a time,

When I dreamed of green fields,

And I lay in the midst of it all,

Smiling as the day went by...

We held hands for the longest time,

It felt perfect as if it were meant to be,

Our eyes followed the passing clouds,

Till they met each other...

Bahh...humbug!!...

My eyes are tired...it feels as though I haven't slept in days. The truth maybe closer than I care to believe. But look at where I am and what I'm doing...up late on a weeknight. I have a choice you know...'Go to sleep Skye...' but I don't listen...I never do :P

I can't wait for the weekend...you might think its coz of some party that might be brewing up then...but its not...I can't wait to be able to sleep in...I just wanna sleep *snore*...looking like a zombified robot ain't something girls strive to be you know (i'm afraid it's gonna be permanently etched onto my face...aaahhhh!!!)...it sucks! *grrrrrr*

I hardly get to see the sun nowadays..I miss his warm kisses on my cheek and the way he turns grey raindrops into beautiful rainbows...I miss how colors light up the darkest of days and how a simple ray of light can actually put a smile on a dulled down face...if I just close my eyes, even through the empty night I can see the dawning day...it shows that I still have hope doesn't it?...a hopeful optimist whose just a little scared of the coming day...I'm a total loony...lack of sleep is causing me to crap jumbled, incomprehensible thoughts out loud...no sense of direction nor purpose...just the way Skye likes it....

oh well...I guess I better get some zzzzz's....waiting has caused the future to be present...maybe a little dream will help sort things out....dream a little dream of you...

PS : The title has got no connection what so ever with the content of this post...just goes to show how big of a crazy person I am...nitezzz...

Today...

i feel like contemplating life right now...in the midst of the storm that's brewing in my head, would it be a wise choice if i were to, let's say, smash the windshield of some poor unsuspecting soul's car? *Chill...Skye*...my head is numb from thinking..too much rumination is really bad for the health...seriously...but sometimes is it right to be complacent with where i am? It seems much easier that way...aah well...I shall leave this dilemma for another day...today it's been good so far...wonderfull actually...for reasons even you don't know...but I shall live today with hope that tomorrow will be as good or even better :D

ciao bella!!