Broken

...is it always that my mind likes playing tricks on me? Or is it that my heart just can't decide to stay whole?...

Outside the 16th floor window, fireworks erupted - 12 Midnight and the dark night sky and its silence broke. For a minute it did not seem that sombre. But the minute passed and the night was back to being black again and I continued to stare on picturing what had been...I wonder what was the occassion? In any case, it was a welcomed distraction.

Sometimes I wonder if nothing will ever happen the way we picture or plan it. We think it one way and things happen in another. And just when we think we know what something means, lo and behold, your world turns and you are left wondering if you ever managed to interpret anything at all in your life...

Why is it so hard? Does wanting something or someone to react the way you see in your head seems like something so unperceivable (don't think the word exists does it? :p)? Predicting human emotion and behaviour drains the strength out of me. I'm gasping for air but breathing in fire haha...sigh...

"Don't run into that thorn bush" but...that's where I wanna be. Not because I'm a sick sadist or anything, just that that is where you are...

I've lost count the number of times my heart got broken...and yet every morning I wake up to face the day, to find that smile...

x

PS : I can be your china doll if you want to see me fall...