Friday, February 3, 2012

Another Night...


...it's you, it has always been you...I'll love you till the end of time...

Another night alone in the office. Yeah, this has gotta stop and even so, here I am...if everything falls into place then I just might be able to find that spark again...you know that thing that makes each of us light up? Yeah, I think I lost mine somewhere along the way...

x

PS : I'm off to the races...I'm so crazy, misbehaving...

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Pockets of Distraction...


There are times when I find myself distracted by my own imagination and you know what? I don't mind it at all ;) I even wish I can get totally and utterly lost in them hahas...

xoxo

PS : Decisions, decisions....

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Learned & Learning...


...I've learned and am still learning...

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them;
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back;
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned that you can get by on charm, for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something;
I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I've learned that no matter how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're downhill are the ones to help you get back up.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry.
I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean that they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned that maturity had more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I've learned that your family won't always be there for you.
I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to forgive yourself.
I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will get hurt in the process.
I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.

x

(taken from Paolo Coelho which was taken from the internet)

Monday, January 16, 2012

You Can't...


...it's true, I can't...

x

I don't remember your name,
But I remember the pain,
And I hold the door open,
To let the blinding light in...

But all I see outside
Is just the darkness all around,
And no one but a stranger inside...

And I want to remember your name,
And I want to remember your face,
All the pain that I'm feeling inside,
I hope would go away...
Just so that I can hear my heartbeat say...

But who's to say who stays or fades away?
Who's to say there's nothing left to say?
Only darkness surrounds my every way....

The clock strikes 3,
And I'm trying to see,
That what's outside would come in,
Missing the empty lullabies you used to sing...

But only shadows are my friends,
I see myself across the lonely room
And no one but a stranger inside...

And I want to remember your name,
And I want to remember your face
All the pain that I'm feeling inside
I hope would go away...
Just so that I can hear my heartbeat say...

But all things fade and nothing stays...

x

Friday, December 30, 2011

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (in my dreams :p)


...there's always hope, if you believe - hope floats eternal...

Last night I dreamt that my Mom gave me a tattoo - literally! Like she drew it on my arm with that tattoo thing-a-ma-jiggy, seriously! I was so happy coz right about now (and as long as I can remember) I had always wanted a tattoo but the only thing that had always stopped me from walking into that tattoo parlor are my parents (yeah yeah I'm such a goody-two-shoes pfftt!!)...so when I had that dream last night (during which I did not know it was a dream :D), I was sooo extremely happy and a tad bit curious coz it was my Mom that was inking my arm hehehe...

Anyways, I got this awesome looking tattoo of a dragon (in black) along my left forearm - awesome! It looked all artsy and fierce at the same time! I loved it! It was such a bummer when I woke up - no tattoo, no awesome dragon on my forearm, sobs...oh well, I take it this is a sign from the Dude above? Hehehe...that I should go ahead and get a tattoo (not necessarily a scary looking dragon along my forearm, though how awesome would that be huh??! :p) but just to get one (for now kekeke) because it's what I have always wanted! ;)

On a more serious note, the new year approaches. I know, I know, you're wondering how is the New Year's a serious thing??...I dunno, one way, yeah it's a party and all that - celebration of a new start, but on the other hand, it's a time for reflection...and I find myself looking back and looking ahead feeling all sort of confused, dazed, unsure, excited, scared, happy and sad all at the same time - damn...it drains a lot out of me...

Regrets, I have had a few but then again, what is life without the downs...I learn and I live. I have always wondered if there would be a day that I would wake up literally feeling like it is a whole brand new day where all starts from that one morning on...

Maybe it will be the morning of the 1st of January 2012. If it isn't, then by golly, I will make it that way myself ;)

xoxo

PS : Nope, that's not how the dragon tattoo looked like in my dream. That's just a random dragon sketch I got off the internet coz I was too lazy to sketch the dragon out of memory :p
PS2 : An actual real tattoo this weekend perhaps? Hmmm... ;)

Happy New Year World

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Wishes...


...sometimes wishes are all I have and wishing is all I can do...

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love...
~Shakespeare~
~Hamlet Act 2 Scene 2~
x

Friday, December 2, 2011

And the Countdown Begins...


I had always thought that our bodies are vessels and then I read the above and smiled - it's nice to know that C.S.Lewis had the same thinking years ago ;)

"...For a moment there, I thought I was free...for a moment there, I thought I could breathe again...but then you walked in, and again I crumbled...such is my strength when it comes to you..."

December is here - the last month of the year. The month where we spend a lot on everything - spend a lot of time shopping (year end/Christmas sales!!), spend a lot of time partying (because face it, 'tis the season to be jolly ;p), spend a lot of time drinking & eating (cmon, you know this is true hahas), spend a lot of time with friends & family (because it's good to have good company around) and of course, we spend a lot of time contemplating the year that has passed and the year that is gonna be...

"...I'm still looking up at the stars and whispering your name into the wind hoping it will take it you..."

It's a magical time this month. You can just feel it if you let yourself be free from everything else. I'm looking back at 2010's December and trying to remember how I felt back then. Feelings tend to stay similar even if time has significantly passed. It's amazing how people 'work', isn't it?

I've been trying to fix my broken self. It's proving to be a most difficult task. Maybe I can't bring myself to throw away the broken parts of my life to make room for new ones to complete it. Saying is so much more easier than doing hahas...don't I know how true that is :p

Well, I have a month (okok it's just 29 days, happy? :p) before 2011 is officially over. I'm looking forward to see what will happen in these days that will eventually shape parts of my future in 2012 - people don't realize, that most of the times, it's tiny things that triggers the biggest changes...so eyes wide open people ;)

xoxo

PS : Perfection is a state of mind that isn't absolute nor a fact - it is what it is because we say it is...and that's why, to me, you are perfect...